


Not Your Usual Interview

by mrsmarit



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Gwen Bashing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:19:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsmarit/pseuds/mrsmarit
Summary: Sometimes Juliet hated her P.I. job... until it leads her to Torchwood's doors.





	Not Your Usual Interview

Sometimes she really hated her job and now was one of those times. She hadn't been able to convince her client that aliens had not abducted her dog. Also, she hadn't been able to dissuade her that the reason she couldn't find the dog was that Torchwood was currently using it to see how the aliens had affected the poor creature. In fact, if the lady hadn't been such a good friend of her Gran's she would have blown the lady off but she knew that her gran would never forgive her for it, even if the woman had been dead for a decade.

Which leads her to where she is now, standing on the Plas and freezing her ass off waiting for Captain Jack Harkness leader of Torchwood Three to come out here. She had been coming here every day for two weeks trying to get him to talk to her and would have given up but her client was adamant that they had her dog and she wanted him back. Her notes handed to the extremely delicious Ianto Jones who manned the "reception" office had gotten pushier and ruder as the days had gone on. All she had asked was for him to come out for one minute so her client could see she had talked to him (she had ensconced herself in the coffee shop across the way.)

She decided to go in one more time and see if she could convince Ianto to help her out. Just to make an old lady happy and get her off of her case would be a bonus. Ianto looks up as the bell over the door chimes and sees that it's that P.I. again no doubt in here to try and get Jack to meet her. Smiling he thinks to himself how much better things would be if she was working with them instead of Gwen Cooper. To this day Ianto cannot figure out why Jack hired her, "heart" of Torchwood yeah right only if the heart is selfish and screws anything that is willing maybe. Sidling up to the desk she smiled at Ianto and even though his heart (and the other stuff) belongs to Jack his heart speeds up a bit and his breathing comes faster as she leans in at him.

"Ianto are you sure there isn't a Captain Jack Harkness working here, you know in some super secret military base or something," she asks him batting her eyelashes coyly. Now, normally this sort of thing would irritate Ianto since he had to deal with Gwen using this kind of technique on a daily basis. Somehow though coming from this woman he found it kind of cute, he could tell that she wasn't trying to manipulate him she was just having some fun.

"Now Ms. Devlin I've told you that's it's just me here. No Captain Jack Harkness and no super secret government base here" he tells her flashing her a smile. 

"Darn it then. Guess I don't have a reason to come around anymore then. And seeing you were starting to become the highlight of my day. Maybe I'll just have to ask you to lunch or something then" she tells him with a cheeky wave and turns and walks out the door.

Standing there Ianto chuckles and suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder and he leans back into Jack's chest. "Ah, I see that P.I. was here again and it seems she has taken the flirting up a few notches." 

Turning Ianto looks at Jack "Why are you jealous?"

"Maybe" Jack answers kissing him softly.

"So what did today's note say," Ianto asks him as Jack pulls it out of his pocket and hands it over. "Wow that is.. interesting" Ianto says chuckling. "The visual picture of that is going to require copious amounts of brain bleach I think."

"Yeah I think this one was my favorite so far, she is one creative lady. Easy on the eyes too and from the file you gave me would be a pretty good field agent."

"Does that mean you are actually going to interview her like I have been suggesting since that first day she came in here?" Ianto asks him questionably.

"I think so. And if she is as great as you said then we can finally take care of that other issue that we have outstanding as well." 

"Give her this the next time she comes by. And no lunch dates your calendar is full from here on out."

 

Three days pass before she can get back to the Plas and she hopes that this is the day that she can finally wrap up this joke of a case. Walking into the tourist center she spies Ianto restocking the brochures and she gets a look at his very delectable arse encased in some well fitting trousers. Smiling at the mental slide show running in her head of what she could with that arse she clears her throat to announce her arrival.

 

"Ms. Devlin I was wondering when you would show up again."

"Why were you missing me Ianto? Figured I would give you a few days to consider my lunch invitation. And besides, I had some actual work to do that didn't involve dogs that were supposedly kidnapped by aliens"

"Don't forget that said dog is also being held by an organization called Torchwood for the study of alien abduction methods?" Ianto says drolly.

"By the way, I was told to give you this," he tells her handing her the card Jack had given him after her last visit.

Taking the card she reads it and grins "So what makes you think I am interested" she asks him.

"Trust me you're interested. And look at it this way, if you get a job here you won't have to deal with abducted dog cases."

"Okay then lead the way. And Ianto please call me Juliet already. Ms. Devlin makes me feel like an old lady."

"Right this way then Juliet" sweeping his hand as the secret door slides back and he escorts her into the Hub. 

Walking into the room Juliet's eyes light up and she had to restrain herself from jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas. The place was huge with a water tower, multiple levels and what she swore was a pterodactyl circling overhead. Sitting at one of the stations was a brunette who she swore was giving her the stink eye. She rose and walked over to them holding out her hand "Gwen Cooper and you are?" "You can call me Ms. Devlin, now if you'll excuse me I have an appointment to keep" and she brushes by Gwen to continue following Ianto who she can see is shaking in silent laughter.

Ianto stops at an office and ushers her inside where a man she can only assume is the one and only Captain Jack Harkness sits. "Welcome to Torchwood Ms. Devlin" 

Reaching out her hand "Please call me Juliet, Captain."

"So may I ask why you told Gwen to call you Ms. Devlin then?"

"Honestly she looked at me like I was shit on her shoe. I will not allow someone who has never even met me before to treat me with such disrespect."

Jack is unable to contain his laughter as they both sit down and Ianto brings in a tray and sets down two mugs. Turning he whispers something to Jack and smiles at Juliet as he turns and leaves the office shutting the door behind him.  
Picking up the mug Juliet inhales the fragrant brew and takes a sip relishing in the flavor bursting on her tongue. "Wow, I think that may be the best coffee I have ever had."

"Best in the universe and trust me I know."

"So Captain am I to understand that this is some sort of job interview? The card Ianto handed me seemed to hint that. I will say though that the drawing was unexpected."

"Well just wanted to let you know that Ianto is most definitely taken" a smirk spreading across his face.

"You could have just said so, the word Ianto with a big no symbol over his name was enough. I didn't need the picture as well although I didn't know two men could get into that sort of position."

"You would be surprised at how flexible we are" the smirk getting bigger.

"So I assume you know all about me, Ianto strikes me as a very thorough sort. So what isn't in my information that you want to know Captain?"

"Okay well... first do you want to shag Ianto?"

Unable to stop herself she ends up spitting out some of the coffee she had drunk completely caught off guard. "Honestly I would shag him in a New York Minute. His arse is a thing of wonder and beauty."

Jack cracks up "Trust me I know.. next part.. are you going to TRY to shag Ianto?"

"As you have made it clear both in writing and via picture he is taken. I am not that sort of girl"

"So I take it that means you aren't going to shag me either then," Jack asks wistfully.

"Honestly even if you weren't with Ianto sleeping with your boss is not something I do... Ianto on the other hand."

"Okay Okay, I get your point. So if it was both of us would that tempt you?"

"Now that I would consider" she replies by sending him a wink.

"Well then," Jack says clearing his throat "How do you feel about shooting a teammate?"

"Is this a rhetorical question or did you have someone particular in mind?"

"Ummm well not me of course, not that it would do you any good and certainly not Ianto." 

"You see I don't usually do that sort of thing. I mean she seems vile but worth shooting I'm not sure."

"Go spend ten minutes with her and trust me you'll be singing a different tune."

Juliet stands up heads down to chat with Gwen and not even 5 minutes later Jack hears Gwen howling and rushes to see what has happened. What he sees makes him chuckle on the inside. Juliet is standing quietly looking down at a distraught Gwen who is cradling an obviously broken wrist.

Ianto heads over to Jack their heads together with Ianto whispering into Jack's ear and Jack shaking his head in the affirmative. "Guess I better take Gwen to he A&E Jack get her wrist checked out and then I'll take her home if that's okay."

"Sounds good Ianto maybe see if you can get Rhys on the way so he can look after her once she's home"

"Good idea Jack I'll see you later then" and Ianto turns helping Gwen up off the floor who is shooting daggers at Juliet who has still not moved. 

"But Jack can't you take me" whines Gwen her shrill voice hurting their ears and Juliet does not hesitate to plug hers against the verbal assault.

"No can do Gwen, have to be here to look after the Hub. Plus I have an interview to finish after all."

Sputtering Gwen turns her eyes on Jack "But you can't seriously be thinking of hiring her, look what she did to me."

"You deserved it and you know it. If you ever raise a hand to me again all you'll get back is a bloody stump. You should be thanking me for not killing you, you really should" her stare hard as she glares at Gwen.

"Off to the A & E with you.. and take a few days off with pay okay," Jack tells her hustling her into her coat with Ianto helping her out the door.

Once they are gone Jack turns to Juliet " Okay I want to know exactly what happened here, what did I miss?"

"Honestly that woman is a piece of work, women like her give the rest of us a bad name. She seems all sweetness and light on the outside but she is rotten to the core" she says exasperatedly.

"You know she's in love with you and thinks you are in love with her? Kept going on about how you and her complete each other. She's obviously seen Jerry Maguire one too many times. When I pointed out that you seemed to be with Ianto, hell I even showed her the card you gave me. Then I mentioned that the ring on her finger meant she was taken too and well that's when it got interesting."

"How so," Jack asks eyes sparkling.

"Well, she looked at me and told me that Ianto was just in your life because you couldn't have her. She didn't like it much when I laughed at her. When she asked me why I was laughing I informed her that if she thought that you would pick her over Ianto she was delusional. Told her if I was you I would rather sleep with the pterodactyl than touch her. Now she REALLY didn't like that and she tried to slap me. And instinct took over and I flipped her and well you saw the result."

"So Jack where does that leave us then? I really like you and Ianto and can see the good you do here. And hell Ianto's coffee would be enough for me to want to work here, but I refuse to work with that woman."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that Juliet Ianto should be taking care of that right about now."

"Christ Jack, he's not going to kill her is he?"

"No no not that the clean up is a nightmare. We have these special pills called retcon that wipes memories and we have been working on getting the dose right for Gwen for a while now. Also, we need to find someone to replace her and then you came along."

"So why did you wait so long to see me then?"

"Honestly it took that long for Ianto to get me to read your file. Mighty impressive file it was too. I was surprised to see you used to be a PC but from what I saw you were in line to be a detective."

"Yeah well I had this case and it went wrong and the guy got off. And I realized I couldn't do it anymore watch guilty people go free while the victims suffered."

"The job is yours if you want it, Juliet."

"I think I do Jack it seems like you need me and I know I can do well here."

"Hey, by the way, you wouldn't happen to know a computer specialist or a doctor would you?"

"You're kidding right?"

"No actually two of our team died recently and we need to replace them. Going to the A & E isn't good due to exposure and I need at least three people out in the field."

"Actually I do happen to know a computer genius who would love to get his hands on your technology. His partner is a doctor who unfortunately was fired recently because he saved the life of some kid from "the ghetto" instead of one of their patrons. If you want I can give them a call and see if they can come by so you can meet them."

"Absolutely give them a call and tell them to come down know if they can."

While Juliet calls her friends Jack walks over near the water tower to call Ianto "Hey is everything taken care of?"

"Yes, sir everything is taken care of both Rhys and Gwen have been given the special batch of retcon and are safe at home sleeping. I went and spoke to PC Andy as well and let him know what was going on. Told him that even though we didn't have a place for him right now but we do need a liaison due to the departure of Gwen. I also mentioned that he shouldn't mention Torchwood to Gwen. Maybe we should consider relocating them sooner than later though."

"Good idea Ianto. Oh yeah, Juliet actually knows someone good with computers and a doctor so they are coming by. Can you pick up some lunch on your way back?"

"Can do. Told you she was a good choice didn't I?"

"Yes, you did Ianto. Did you know about her friends?"

"I know everything sir how many times do I have to tell you that."

"One of these days I'll remember that Ianto. Hurry back yeah. I think it's time for some more coffee.... and maybe some cuddling in my bunk later."

"Be there soon sir and I think some cuddling may be in order."

While Juliet and Jack wait for her friends to arrive Jack takes her on a tour and introduces her to Janet and Myfawny (who takes an instant liking to Juliet... the dark chocolate definitely helps.) Near the end of the tour, he shows her the Archives. "This is Ianto's domain it's best to stay out of there unless you absolutely need to. He doesn't like it when people mess up the system, trust me I know from experience."

Chuckling Juliet and Jack head back up to the main area of the Hub to see Ianto coming in through the cog door loaded down with bags containing fragrant Chinese food. Jack heads over grabbing some of the bags and pressed a gentle kiss on Ianto's lips. Watching them Juliet smiles and hears her phone ring and she sees it's Robert and she follows the two to what looks like a conference room. 

"Hey, my friends are here Jack. Does someone need to come with me so I can get back in?"

"Not necessary" Ianto pipes up "I added you to the system while you were talking to Gwen earlier."

"Be back in a minute then" as Juliet pops out the door and heads to her friends.

Upon the Plas Juliet runs over to her friends as they embrace her in a group hug their laughter filling the air.

"Hey, you two it's about time you got here. Come on there are some people I want you to meet. And it even includes lunch."

Pulling on their hands they walk into the tourist center and through the secret door. Juliet loves the reactions of both Robert and Steven, she can tell they are all going to be very happy here. Entering the conference room her eyes go wide as they catch Jack and Ianto snogging against the table.

"Gee Robbie and I thought that time we got caught in the maintenance closet last year was bad" Steven says chuckling.

Jack and Ianto pull apart a flush staining Ianto's cheeks and Jack actually looks slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry about that gentleman but look at him how was I to resist" Jack answers smugly.

"I know what you mean I think the same about my Robbie," Steven says beaming at Robert.

"Come on let's eat everyone," Ianto says the blush still prevalent on his cheeks.

As they sit down to eat it's obvious to both Jack and Ianto that Robert and Steven are a perfect fit for the team. Smiling at each other they both realize all it took to make them whole again was a little old lady and a missing dog.

 

  
Of course what Jack didn't know is that well you see... Ianto was behind it all. He really did know everything and he knew the minute he had seen Juliet Devlin that she was what they needed. And if he had gone to that woman and slipped her enough money to cover the fee and a little extra and told her to point Juliet in Torchwood's direction. No one would ever need to know now, would they?


End file.
